311215 thursday

2015.

I cried a lot this year.
Months.
Half year.
Throughout the year.

No hatred.
Just sadness and lots of questions.

Hati rabak

Kadang aku terfikir.
Apa yg mampu membuatkan kita gembira..
Apa yang bisa membuat kita sedih..
Adakah ia cerminan iman?

Kalau tangisan itu jatuhnya kerana kehilangan yang kecil,
Kerana patahnya hati,
Kerana banyaknya urusan dunia..

Adakah itu petanda hati penuh keduniaan?

Sedangkan mereka yg lain bersengkang mata,
Berkolam air mata,
Bermandi peluh dan keringat,
Resah gelisah, berduka lara kerna
memikirkan urusan di 'sana'
Bekalan di dada dan ibadah.

Juga kerna sebak dek saudara seislam berbantal batu dan berselimut pelukan lengan.

Lihatlah sendiri.
Hati kau masih kecil.
Halus.
Lekas rabak.
Banyak tangis dan tawa kerna dunia.

...But why does it feel like yesterday?
Why does it still hurt?

Ya Allah, grant me strength.
Fill my heart and mind with remembrance of You. 😢

1437hijrah

Koreksi diri.

Kalau apa yang kau buat tak mampu halang kau dari kejahatan dan dosa..
Apa sebenarnya yang berlaku?
Apa sebenarnya yang kau lakukan sehingga tak laku di sisi NYA?

😢😢😢😢

Rindu waktu itu ya Tuhan.

ALLAH.. ampuni dosa lalu.
Mampukan daku untuk suka segala yang Engkau suka..
Mampukan daku untuk utamakan MU, Ya ALLAH dalam segala perkara..

Kerna duri sebatang, habis seisi genggaman terburai

Genggam erat penuh kasih selama manapun, 

andai ditaqdir ditusuk duri, 

pasti akan terlerai genggaman, 

bertaburan apa yang digenggam selama ini.

Tapi jika genggaman dibuka sedikit demi sedikit, 

duri dibuang perlahan-lahan, 

luka diubat cepat.. 

maka isi dalam genggaman pasti masih ada. 

Lukanya pula pasti lekas sembuh.

Lantas begitulah juga kehidupan ini. 

Jika kesalahan dimaafkan, 

manusia tidak terus dibuang dan dihukum dengan hanya satu kesalahan, 

tiada putus harapan dgn rahmat dari-NYA hanya kerana satu ujian, 

maka apa yang dibina dgn kasih selama dalam genggaman pasti masih ada gunanya.

Namun kadang kita terlalu pantas menilai kesalahan dan menghukum..

Terlalu mudah berputus harap hanya kerana satu ujian.

Sakit dan luka itu pasti.
Tapi tindakan yang lebih pasti ialah utk tidak terlalu pantas membuka genggaman, 

melerai pegangan hanya kerana satu duri. 

Terus..luka diubati dan fokus diberi untuk terus menggenggam erat, 

menjaga nikmat dan mendoakan rahmat.

Hidup lebih positif jika fokus adalah pada usaha yg telah kita bina dan nikmat yg kita peroleh; 

bukan pada sebatang duri dan sakitnya satu luka..

#notauntukdiri #refleksi sebagai seorang hamba, anak, guru, sahabat dan manusia.

Lalai dan ujub
Itu yang aku takut.
Sebab ia hadir tanpa kita rasa.
Dan paling scary...sebab kita rasa ia tiada tapi ada.

Allah,
Peliharalah hati-hati kami.

Bless

He envies her to the fact that she could meet her parents every weekend..
Little that he knows, she envies him for getting to meet his own little family every time he returns home, everyday..

       **********

Each and every one of us has their own rezq though at times, all we see is that the grass is always greener from the other side of the fence. We might have rezq that other people do not have and vice versa. Same goes with difficulties or adversities. Who r we to say that other people are more  blessed than us or have less responsibilities/ difficulties/adversities than us?

Lets be thankful.
Be grateful for everything that we have.
Work hard, pray earnestly and give more as to achieve what we think we should have OR want to have OR need to have.
Stop labelling each other as "having less responsibilities" OR "more blessed" OR "having no problems" etc. What we see from the surface (their smiles, laughters, happiness, etc) might not really show the struggles inside their heart and mind.

Sometimes we couldn't have everything. But all the things that we have..are more than enough for us.

And stms, we could have everything. But it is just not there yet for us. It also depends on how do we define 'everything'.

Be grateful for everything that we have. For when we lose even one slight nikmat from the many of them that HE has bestowed upon us, only then we would realize that we have everything that HE wants us to have; and they are sufficient for us.

Im not reminding this to anyone except my own self.
Sometimes i compared myself with other people in a negative way. And of course, it should not happen like that. If comparison is made, it should be as a motivation to achieve and do better, positively.
This is indeed a reminder to myself. Yes, i remind myself by writing my thoughts; one of the ways, of course.

P/s: happy malaysia day. #160915wednesday.
It is now 3.59pm..same time on 160914 tuesday; i was in festival city, hunting for my graduation shoes, after leaving sime darby convention centre with a happy and content feeling. Little that i know... 😔😢

Kehilangan
Itu yang menyedihkan.
Tak kisahlah hilang apa.
Barang mahupun cinta.
Cinta siapa? Itu kau jawab sendiri.
Paling parah jika hilang cinta agung.
Itu kau bakal hilang segalanya.

Ps: ah..menangis pula.
Hati tak sado.
Dah bilang acapkali supaya kental.
Tapi rupanya seperti span.
Serap semua.
...dan bila ditekan, menitis laju.

How

They said, to forget certain things,
remember all the bad things.
So hatred would build up, erasing things that you have got to forget.
But how could you forget,
when everything is good.

You know, it was like in a drama,
when a mother or a wife was praying and then reciting some zikr using the tasbeh and then.... pufff!
That suspense or sad background music came in...
Tasbeh terputus
The beads were everywhere
And uve got that bad feelings.

Huhuhu...
Rasa nak nangis pulak. Ala2 dramatic..
I need a new tasbeh. That was a tasbeh given by my friend last 2 years i think.  And now..dah terputus 😣

And that sejadah/ prayer mat was given by my ex principal whom ive just had a chance of working with him for 3 months. He gave a sejadah to every staff on his retirement day. That was in 2011.
And im still using it til now.

Kiroman katibin

#nw malaikat hafazah #cintailmudanfalsafah

Ive first heard the term 'kiroman katibin' from my friend, I, in dec 2013.
He said that before we sleep, we could make niat, and ask kiroman katibin to wake us up at a certain time (with Allah's will).

Kiroman katibin are the angels on our right and left shoulders who keep tracks and records of our good deeds and bad ones..

So that night, i made a niat to wake up at 6am. In that niat, i mentioned kiroman katibin, and i mentioned with the wills of ALLAH too.. and Alhamdulillah, the next morning, i woke up around 6am..to be exact, 5.55am, without alarm clock.

Tq I for sharing the 'ilm with me. Uve got ur 'share' for akhirah, in sya Allah...

************

And ive also learnt that if we recite quranic verses/surah and some zikir before we sleep, and also make a strong, sincere and specific niat to wake up early (for example; O Allah, please wake me up at the last phase of the night so i could submit myself to YOU..), in sya Allah, HE would wake us up early.

p/s: it s my birthday today. Alhamdulillah.. ☺😊 #tuesday

Tegur kerana sayang

22082015
Saturday

Met with a friendly makcik at An Nur mesjd. She was not from the neighbourhood though.

We had a chat here and there in between the ceramah. She was actually on her way back home to silibin after teaching fardhu ain, etc at Seri Kenangan (an old folks home). But it was raining heavily before Maghrib and the road that she normally used was flooded. So she had to use an alternative route, which had brought her to An-Nur mesjid. She repeatitively mentioned how grateful she was for having the opportunity to solat there and listened to the talk by our guest speaker, Dr Azlan on mukmin sejati (Surah al-Mu'minun; 1-11).. ☺

After the talk, we performed Isyak prayer side by side. And soon after we finished the prayer with du'a, etc,.. she tegur me in a humble and kind way (like a mother to her daughter); she said that when performing congregational prayers (jamaah prayers), makmum could not prolong the final sujood any longer than the imam.

In my very limited knowledge and 'ilm, especially in fiqh (please correct me if im wrong) ; 
I've learnt from ustaz(ah) that in jamaah prayers, makmum could prolong the final sujood as long as the imam has not yet recited the syahadah OR maximum, the solawat onto Nabi Muhammad SAW in tahiyyat akhir (meaning, you can prolong your sujood BUT not for TOO long). The best is to prolong your sujood when you perform prayers individually..

But i didnt say anything back to her bout that. I smiled and sincerely thanking her for telling me that. Having a makcik whom ive just met for perhaps an hour, and had actually 'corrected' me on that, was something im grateful for. That simply shows she cares about me. Alhamdulillah..

Makcik S, hope we could meet again,  In sya Allah.. Thank you for your kindness and may Allah bless you, and all of us 😊

For further explanation on 'could makmum prolong their sujood?'; click the link below...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lCx7enUWfb0&sns=em