Setiap kali birthday
Setiap kali merdeka
Setiap kali hari malaysia
Setiap kali itu jugalah ia remuk semula.
Dan lebih parah bila ia bukan sahaja di hari yang dinyata sahaja.

I could sense that my time with my parents especially my mom is getting shorter and shorter.

I miss her and i would easily cry when i think of her. Sometimes when she sleeps, i gaze at her. Sometimes when she's standing in the kitchen, cutting the vegetables, i would sneak a look at her. Sometimes when she eats, i would sit and admire her face, and herself, enjoying simple dishes on plate. I noticed her tired body and decreasing energy. The woman who gv birth to me and raise me up and still care for me. I feel so bad for not helping her out much.

O Allah, how much time do i hv in this world?
I plea to You dear Lord..not to end mine nor her(and father) until i could repay their kindness, loves, cares and endless sacrifices to the point that they could feel comfort and grateful to You for having a daughter like me. And to the point that they could be one of the reasons for me to be able to get into Your jannah with them.

Salam.


MINDA vs HATI
LOGIK vs RASA

What are your 3 lowest points in life?

1. 12 dec 2014, friday, 10.30pm.
Was emotionally and physically exhausted. 

i lost words to describe it, but plenty of tears to shed. 

2. During my MA years.
Those sleepless nights, stress, long hour driving, nomad between sp-ipoh-tg malim, staying overnight at different hotels alone without my winglady, etc..
they spelt CHALLENGES, SWEAT AND TEARS.

3. When things happen.
And im well aware of its symptom; when my heart is less attached to HIM..

Ps. Being and doing good is easy when it is only for one day. But when consistency is involved, easy could become lazy and no longer breezy.
I could feel that im becoming more and more sinful.
And i hate it when i couldnt handle 'istiqomah'. T_T