Cross paths

I have never ever thought of people who had caused me to cry buckets as BAD.
I've never hated them too.
If they have broken my heart, they must have been special to my heart.
And to be special, their hearts are what matter to me- their kindness.
And how could one hate kind people, whom countless times had been the reasons behind our smiles and laughters?
Perhaps circumstances and my imperfections had actually caused our paths to never cross again.
And for that, I regret and sincerely apologize..
I truly am.

arah

Salam.

selama tak melangkah,
selagi itu tak tahu arah.
kanan kiri depan belakang atau tengah.

bawa lampu, suluh,
tunjuk arah, aku langkah
lambat perlahan asal kau ada bersama,
aku gagah.

pokoknya,
mulakan dengan suluhan cahaya.
bukan tepat pada mata;
terang tapi membuta.
tapi tepat pada apa DIA kata,
sejuk dan meyakinkan kita.

p/s:

16112014

hati tisu

Last few months, I went to my eldest bro's office.
Lepak kejap.
So he accompanied me to the office's cafe though he was fasting.. (ive told him that i wouldnt mind eating there alone but he insisted).
So while i was eating..we chatted.
Then he asked me sth.
My eyes were teary..
It was out of my control..i got melancholy in answering his question and my eyes reacted so fast with my emotion.
And...
I could see him a lil bit panicked..
..that he quickly changed the subject.

Hati tisu..
Macam ni lah..

29072015

Depressed

Incomplete.
It is like everything has been put on pause for so long.
And all the plot is confusing.
Even the main character does not know what to do.
Should help been seeked or given?
Disappointed, heart-broken, confused and helpless.
How could plot be twisted; towards a happy ending?- Tell her.

Bila sayang

#17022016

Bila sayang ...
Kau akan husnudzon dengan serta merta.

Biar aku bawa satu cerita..
Kisahnya kau sayang pada dia..
Tapi dia jarang tanya berita..
Mahu saja kau berprasangka..
"Oh..dia tak suka.."
Tapi kerna sayang pada dia..
Kau husnudzon,
"Mungkin dia punya banyak kerja."

Kisah kedua.
Kau sayang pada dia.
Tapi dia selalu marah kau tiap masa.
Kalau bukan kerna sayang dia,
Mesti kau anggap dia baran ya.
Tapi kerna kau sayang pada dia,
"oh dia marah kerna sayang", kau pujuk hati berkata-kata.

Kisah kedua.
Kau sayang pada dia.
Tapi masa dan ruang tiada.
Dia jenis cool.
Kau pula jenis cemburu dalam cool.
Tapi kerna sayang pada dia,
Kau husnudzon.
"Jauh di mata, dekat di hati".
Itu yang kau bilang setiap hari,
Itu yang kau doa tiap kali.

Kisah ketiga.
Kau sayang pada dia.
Tapi sikap kau dan dia tiada yang sama.

Dia redah saja,
kau skema pula.

Dia suka yang meriah dan ceria,
Kau pemalu dan perlu masa untuk huhahuha.

Dia baik berhemah dalam bicara,
Kau pula direct yang kadang terlebih emosi dari isi.

Dia menilai dari mata,
Kau pula perlu lihat dan dengar untuk 'rasa'.

Dia simpan perasaan segala,
Dan kau pula walau dalam hati ada taman, bibir masih terkunci diam seribu kata.

Mahu saja kau menangis berendam air mata.
Memikirkan kenapa harus banyak yang beda?
Tapi kerna sayang pada dia,
Kau husnudzon..
Kata kau dalam hati,
"walau beda banyak perkara..
Aku mau fahami dan rai itu semua"..

Benarkan aku kata?...
Kalau dah sayang..kau akan husnudzon.
Kau akan cari walau 1 sebab untuk terus sayang.
Dan lenyapkan 1000 sebab untuk dia hilang.

Itu kalau ada SAYANG.
kalau tiada sayang... usah satu sebab,
Satu titik sebab untuk husnudzon pun sukar dicari.

Tapi kalian..
Yang lebih indah itu bila kita husnudzon pada DIA.
Allah kan Maha Baik.
Dia jadikan setiap sesuatu dengan hikmah.
Segala persamaan dan perbezaan,
Kelebihan dan kekurangan,
Untuk kita sama melengkapi.
Sayang manusia kerna DIA.
Baik buruk dia dan diri,
kita sama harmonikan kerna DIA.

Suara ini nasihat buat diri.
Yang selalu terlupa dalam menghargai.

Fear not?

You asked what s my biggest fear?

It s not the deep ocean nor the total darkness that scare me the most.

It s losing someone, knowing that i didnt and couldnt do much that scares me the most.

And u hv no idea how much it affects me, how many tissues hv been soaked, dissolved in tears, how much strength and trust ive tried to gather back.

Those take time. And prayers. And loves.
Heaps of em.

*090917

Empty
.
What has happened?
...been happening?

😐