Usik

Tika kau intai,
Saat itu hati terusik.
Mata berkaca,
Tunggu masa tumpah mencurah.

Tika itu,
Bisikkan kalimah Tuhan berulang kali.
Hingga hilang keterusikan menggila.

Ldr hubs n wives

Im amazed at how people could survive LDR after marriage..
I mean,away from spouse and perhaps their child(ren).
They r really strong, emotionally and spiritually.
It must be because of HIM.
'Bertemu dan berpisah(sementara) kerana Dia'.

Moga Allah SWT sentiasa berkati para isteri dan suami yang berkasih sayang kerana DIA.

Sin alif ya nga

Bila dah sayang,
Semuanya akan jadi lain macam.
Lahir 'hope'
Terbit 'expectation'
Mahu 'tahu' segala perihal
Terlebih 'ambil berat'
'Sakit' sana sini...
Keluar macam-macam rasa.
Rasa luar biasa.
Dan luar kebiasaan ini yang buat kita gelisah.

kau,
Ingatkanlah aku pada Pemegang Hati.
Agar aku bawa DIA dalam segala rasa.

Am i?

BBW

Went to the mines for book shopping at BBW. #030615 #wednesday.
My last BBW shopping was on december 2013.

When i was at seri kembangan,
My mind was else where.
All d driving and getting lost...
All d walking and carrying books..
Stepping up the stairs...
The indoor 'stream',
McDonalds,
Sections of books at BBW,
the crowd...
Every single detail...
My eyes started to get teary.

I needed distraction.
Though it felt right, ive gotta admit that i kinda came to the wrong place.

#rbtl

Salam.

I really really REALLY need to focus on improving myself.
... on reflecting things and have a good heart.

Chocs

went crazy over chocs.

The world is round

One of  my dreams is to travel the world.

I want to have this big globe and world map in my room, on my table..so i could see the world, mark the countries that ive been to and dream more of going to places.

Sebel

Dihukum dengan kesenyapan dunia,
Tertipu dengan kedaifan rasa.

Mana pergi hati yang kononnya mapan?

Tapi

Satu hal yang kau tak boleh paksa..

Perihal hati.

Perlu masa.
Perlu usaha.
Perlu doa.
Banyak banyak doa

Hati

Kalau dalam hati kau masih sedih kerna manusia,
Masih gusar kerna khuatir akan persepsi insan,
Di mana kau letakkan yang Maha Kuasa sebenarnya?

HATI
suka aku dengar bicara mengenainya.
Kerna semua pun tahu,
Sifat hati yang sering berubah-ubah.
Hari ini mungkin bilang ya.
Esok belum tentu masih ya.

Tangisan dari hati itu,
Puncanya dari apa wahai sang kerdil?

Lalu jawapan dibalas curahan air mata.
Setitis demi setitis tewas.
Turun dari mata ke pipi,

... ke kain putih yang ditadah dari tadi.

Curahan mutiara jernih itu,
detiknya dari sekeping hati yang hitam.

Benar sebenar-benarnya.
Hanya dengan mengingati Allah,
hati akan menjadi tenang.

Degup

Kawan aku.
Sering berkongsi kisah cintanya.
Bersama yang dahulu kekasih, kini isteri beranak lima.
Katanya,
Lelaki punya degup.
Serius aku ketawa.
Degup??
Lalu dia sambung..
"Serius ni wan sarah"...
Ok lah...
Explain...

Katanyaaaa...
Untuk jatuh suka dengan serius,
Harus ada rasa "degup" itu.

Itu kata dia.
Degup.

Dalam hati, aku terfikir...
Sudahnya... kalau ada yg berdegup 2,3,4 kali...
Pada insan yang berbeza
Bagaimana?

Ah.. terpacul pula soalan tadi pada dia.

"Sebab itulah lelaki ada yang kawen lebih..."

*senyap*

"Kak Susan...tengok cg Edward ni ha..macam ada niat nak bagi akak payung emas je ni..."

Pasangan ideal ini mmg dah biasa dgn gurauan poligami si suami.

Dan aku...sambung makan dengan tenang. Hahah.

********
#namarekaansemata

I got a friend whom always know how to start, what to say and could always put up with me; no matter what i say or how mad i could be.
And a good counsellor too.
Someone whom i could say, "hmm i feel sad.. Can u please say or share sth comforting.."
Then puff! All sorts of comforting ayat, words, jokes and motivations were there in less than a minute.
If she was a guy, I couldve fallen for him.

This one kakak.
She is pretty..a well-experienced teacher and a happy-go-lucky kinda person..senyum sokmo.
And cantik.
Yeah..i said pretty twice coz she is.

She is also quite known for her busy life (earning more and more money is one of the things she likes to do; as she said so).

So we asked her about her part-time job at this one private institution. She said she had quit.
And we asked why coz as i said, she loves the money.

"U know what, ...when i was younger, i love to chase money.. i want to earn more and more money. But after quite stms, it becomes tiring. And once uve experienced the death of a fam member, u will realize that u need to spend more time with ur family. I worked at xxxx every friday and returned home at night. The next day, i was too tired already. And my family demanded my time during weekend. So i quitted."

It makes me think.
What do i really want in life?
In my 20s..in my 30s and in my 40s....so on...(if Allah permits me to have a longer life)..
More money?
Higher academic qualification?
More kids? (if im blessed with a marriage and children)
Bigger house and luxurious car?

I want a blessed life.
Blessed with the love of Allah.

Soberness

Losing things that are near to your heart is indeed, devastating.
It leaves a deep mark,
a mark that only you and HE knows.

The heart is still beating,
Tears are still rolling,
Mind is still wondering.

True.
The heart should only be filled with the remembrance of the Most Gracious,
as only HIS love lasts forever.

p/s: months and 'soberness'.

Jendela salju

Jendela.
Betapa mahu kau ke sana.
Ke arah mana mata kau capai.
Tapi sayang.
Tertutup rapat, terkunci rapi.
Tiada mampu walau satu hembusan, walau satu bingkisan untuk masuk.
Hanya mampu intip dalam kelam,
...di celahan pemisah luar dan dalam.

🗻💐☕🌁 #010415 #wednesday #gststartstoday #ofapril14

IF you have known all my flaws and weaknesses,
..seen me in my worst, emotional conditions and situations,
Would u still like me?

bro-sis code

Salam.

i read an article on how Beckham's first child, Brooklyn cuddled and carried his 3 y/o sister home LOVINGLY, after the NYFW. and towards the end of the article, the reporter asked Beckham on how Harper's romantic relationship would be with you know, 3 protective elder brothers, so here he answered: 

"She's got three brothers that will take her, 

three brothers that will eat with her,

and three brothers that will bring her back home,

and a dad waiting for her," 

'So yeah, we'll see. That'll be interesting."

and i could more or less understand this.

the part on having 3 protective elder brothers (i have 4 bros), and... being the only daughter.

Like seriously, elder brothers are more protective towards their sister. 

doesnt matter whether the sister is pretty or not (tak 'ku putih ku putih' pun abang2 sayang..syukur..huhu), big or small...i guess it is in their genes.  

i am already an adult.. BUT.. my brothers' protectiveness level does not even decrease a bit. 

They know most of my circle of friends, BFFs and my whereabouts. 

They are my 'chauffeurs' esp in KL and my chaperons whenever they are at home or whenever i am in KL.
At times, they would escort/ drive me to SP at dawn (at 5.45 am), though they have just arrived from KL the night before; simply coz they are concerned that i would be driving alone/sleepy early at dawn.
and other times, we would keluar makan, movie, shopping blabla.
padahal buat sorang2 pun boleh. but when bros are there, we would do that together.

my first bro, he is the most protective.. and strict.
tambah2 when he's married and has a child. lagiiii lah protective and kebapaan.
he is the one who always asked and called me just to say 'hi' or ask bout my days etc.
there was this one time, i was sick and he took care of me. He came to my college late at night just to pass me Vicks and some meds coz i was coughing badly. Many times, he took me to the clinics and made sure i was ok (with the bless of ALLAH, of course).
he has that 'eldest child' charisma and a decision maker.

my second bro, ...i like the way he gives advices/ opinions. it is always lengthy and of course, useful. whenever im in need of opinions or suggestions, he is always there to help (until everything is solved!). For me, he is a sensible person. He also layan my narcissism by taking my photos..hehe.

and my third bro, he is a 'people' person.
He knows and has met most of my BFFs.
he is the most manja and the one i could mengada lebih.
I always ask him and his wife to go out etc.
He holds my hand- walaupun aku dh besar (and his wife's hand of course), when we crossed the road/ at crowded places.
He makes sure i eat early as to avoid tummy upset.
He holds my heavy handbag when i need to choose / shop for sth.
he still lies his head on my lap, stms asks me to picit kepala, kaki and lepak in my room (bilik aku sejuk) though he's married.
oh...at times, he bullies me too. u know, requesting this n that (mostly food).

and of course my lil bro.
hmm..ahaha. he is of course younger than me. and im closer to him actually.
i talk and share with him though he doesnt really give elaborate responses. lol.
he is a really good listener and a trustworthy secret keeper.
i love hugging him.. at random times.
i hold his arms when walking at malls, etc for no reason. ahahaha.
love teasing him esp when he sleeps and sits alone thinking of things, or even when he eats.
I drink his water just a sec after he finishes pouring it into the glass,..simply because!.
i dont know,... i just love to annoy him! :D

he is a man with less words but at times could be full of surprises too.

Like this one time, when we were in Jogja, he told me not to disperse from my friends (coz i prefer to shop alone). he reminded me few times on that. and then he kept on walking behind me at a crowded place to make sure i was safe. and there was one time, i joked about wanting this particular bag..and he bought me that bag! it was not that expensive or branded but it's the thought that impressed me the most!

but yeah,....
it is not always rainbows with bros.
we fought and bickered too.
we have some 'terasa hati' moments too.
they were times when i cried coz well obviously... i hati lembik cam kanji..huhu.
BUT, like other siblings,
we got over that..
i also appreciate all their countless sacrifices and concerns on me..
and for all the good and bad, i would NOT trade bros for anything. :)

Tolong ingatkan aku

Orang yang mudah lalai seperti aku..
Memang perlu kepada peringatan berulang kali tanpa jemu..
Peringatan dan nasihat berhikmah, agar aku mampu berubah,
dalam istiqamah.

In sya Allah.

Bolehkah kau hadapi

Salam

Kau tak tahu betapa jantung berdegup laju,
Fikiran melayang selalu,
Bila fikir perkara yang aku sendiri tak tahu,
...sama ada aku mampu.

Semahunya diri mahu jadi yang terbaik.
Tapi diri lebih kenali hati.
Banyak hitam dari putih suci.
Lalu mengundang pelbagai persoalan dalam diri.

Sudah ready,
untuk hadapi semua nanti?

Cinta ke syurga

Kalau cinta,
Sama-sama banyakkan doa.

Kalau benar cinta,
Sama-sama bawa ke syurga.

Barulah sama-sama elak derita,
Sama-sama kecap bahagia.

Ps: peringatan untuk diri.

Salam.

Bila sayang, kau akan husnudzon secara automatiknya. Default setting barangkali.

baiki diri

Salam.

Bila dapat kegembiraan, kita bersyukur.
tapi jarang kita bertanya "kenapa aku?".
Maka bila ditimpa kesukaran,
bersyukurlah kerana kita terpilih untuk ditarbiyah,
dan jangan persoal "kenapa aku?".
Status kita sebagai hamba NYA, buatkan kita lebih dari layak untuk diuji.
Dan untungnya kita, hamba hina tapi Tuhan sayang...
Bila diuji NYA,
DIA janjikan kita hanya diuji dengan ujian yang kita mampu hadapi.
DIA janjikan disetiap kesukaran ada jalan keluar,
DIA janjikan sesuatu yang lebih baik,
Kadang kita mungkin tak faham dan tak punya kebijaksanaan untuk melihat hikmah.
Tapi semestinya ujian dari DIA membuatkan kita lebih berfikir,
lebih bermuhasabah,
lebih banyak tangis, rayu dan berharap pada DIA.

ALLAH, daku sayang pada MU.
Ampuni daku, ampuni dia, ampuni kami semua.

p/s: Mohon masa diputarkan adalah mustahil. 
Yang termampu ialah untuk mengubah diri sendiri. 
Baiki diri dan bersihkan hati.