physically or emotionally?

I got the drill now.

It was difficult for me to sleep early during MCO phases.

I slept around 1am-2am. And i did wish to sleep earlier.

And these few days, i slept as early as 9.30pm.. sometimes earlier than that. 

.

Ive got the drill now. 

I understand me better.

I will sleep way earlier for 2 main reasons;

a) if i am way way way too tired coz of physical activities/programs

Or 

b) if i am emotionally drained. Mentally tired. 

I think i dont mind being physically exhausted as compared to being emotionally tired.

Sleeping is a temporary therapy for me.It relieves, but it doesnt solve much.

And im emotionally tired.

There s only a reason to leave but not to forget

It takes years to trust.
To share secrets,
To say out loud; the feelings.

So would it take years to erase those feelings,
forget those memories,
and move on?
.
.
Frustration isnt enough as there's only a reason to leave but not to forget.

15.7.2018

Complicated

I sometimes wish to have that courage.
To delete, to remove, to replace,
and to move on.

.
Life isnt complicated.
My soul is..😉

#BSD

BSD is the term that i created and use since i was in UNI. it stands for "BROAD SMILE DAY". It is the day that i would reward myself after all the HARDWORK. It was the day that i would look forward too, and told my bffs again & again of how much i couldnt wait for it. As i grew up to working life..ahahahahaha, I feel as if i no longer have any BSD- i no longer looking forward to anything, which is depressing. 

#BSD is important for me as it motivates me to strive and achieve what i want. But as for these few years, what i really want seems to be beyond my power & authority.and it really disappoints me at times coz i have nothing much to look forward to anymore, that excites me. 

I NEED NEW AIR.