Tak biasa.
Lalu terbit khuatir
Bawa ke ketakutan.

So much that we refused to forget

Hamba hina tapi mahu semua

Tuhan,
Aku hamba hina,
Tahu punya banyak dosa,
Tapi masih mahu meminta,
Semua perkara dalam dunia,
Dan semua yang kekal di sana.

Tuhan,
Aku hamba hina,
Tahu punya banyak cela,
Tapi masih mahu meminta,
Diampun dosa, dikurnia syurga.

Tuhan,
Aku hamba hina,
Tahu punya iman tak setinggi mereka,
Tapi masih mahu meminta,
Istiqamahkan aku dalam taqwa.

Tuhan,
Aku hamba hina,
Tahu punya hati gelap tiada warna,
Tapi masih mahu meminta,
Sucikanlah ia dengan salju penghilang nista.

Tuhan,
Aku hamba hina,
Sering hilang punca cahaya,
Tapi masih mahu meminta,
Ihdinas sirootol mustaqeem, padaMu yang Maha Esa.

Tuhan,
Aku hamba hina,
Cetek perwatakan wanita syurga,
Tapi masih mahu meminta,
Kuatkan daku nanti sebagai isteri solehah, ibu sempurna,
Untuk jodohku di dunia dan di syurga,
Serta zuriat keturunan bertaqwa.

Tuhan,
Aku hamba hina,
Dengan hati bolak balik penuh dosa,
Turun naik imanku seperti nafas kencang hentinya tiada,
Tapi Tuhan, aku tahu selangkah aku menghampiriMu,
Rahmat dan kasih sayangMu hadir berganda,
KeampunanMu sentiasa terbuka,
Buat aku, hamba pendosa.

Rayuku padaMu Tuhan,
Jangan tinggalkan aku walau seketika.
Walau sekelip mata.
Walau nafas sehela.
Walau lebih sekejap dari keduanya.
Kerna aku hanya punya Engkau,
Allahu Ahad.

Of ears and tongue

If i were to choose between listening and talking..i would choose to listen.
I love stories. I love smiling and be happy for other people's happy moments. I love the positive vibes of true human experiences; of courage, survival, spiritual journey and self enhancement. I could be the one who lend attentive ears for others too. I might not utter the correct comforting words or giving a precise motivational speech at that moment but i could give a warm hug i guess.
But that doesnt mean i am totally reserved.
...doesnt mean i dont want to be listened to..
...doesnt mean i have nothing to say, ideas to discuss or feelings to share.

It is just that, people might be selective.. to whom they want to be listened to.
And comfortable to share things with..

Be that person.
:)

Sesak dada

Mom

Monday.
530am. Breakfast before heading to #sp

Mom said.
"Bila sara dah kawen ada suami, anak, buat macam apa yg mak buat"
.
.
.

I doubt myself i could do as perfect and patient as hers. 😔 but mom, i'll try my best.. that, i can promise you.

Ps. TakuT. Dan .LelaH.

Threenuary 2016 challenges

January 2016 challenges:

-not to post any negative thoughts in any of my social media. Surrounding myself with good vibe and sharing positivities with others.

-to consistently go to mesjid for maghrib and isyak + takzirah (at least once a week).

- to jog/exercise at least once a week.

So far im gonna aim for these threenuary first. Of course there are other aims too but im setting a month time frame for threenuary.
May Allah ease.

I wish 2016 is the year that i could travel more.

Smile more

And focusing more on important and certain things.

311215 thursday

2015.

I cried a lot this year.
Months.
Half year.
Throughout the year.

No hatred.
Just sadness and lots of questions.

Hati rabak

Kadang aku terfikir.
Apa yg mampu membuatkan kita gembira..
Apa yang bisa membuat kita sedih..
Adakah ia cerminan iman?

Kalau tangisan itu jatuhnya kerana kehilangan yang kecil,
Kerana patahnya hati,
Kerana banyaknya urusan dunia..

Adakah itu petanda hati penuh keduniaan?

Sedangkan mereka yg lain bersengkang mata,
Berkolam air mata,
Bermandi peluh dan keringat,
Resah gelisah, berduka lara kerna
memikirkan urusan di 'sana'
Bekalan di dada dan ibadah.

Juga kerna sebak dek saudara seislam berbantal batu dan berselimut pelukan lengan.

Lihatlah sendiri.
Hati kau masih kecil.
Halus.
Lekas rabak.
Banyak tangis dan tawa kerna dunia.

...But why does it feel like yesterday?
Why does it still hurt?

Ya Allah, grant me strength.
Fill my heart and mind with remembrance of You. 😢

1437hijrah

Koreksi diri.

Kalau apa yang kau buat tak mampu halang kau dari kejahatan dan dosa..
Apa sebenarnya yang berlaku?
Apa sebenarnya yang kau lakukan sehingga tak laku di sisi NYA?

😢😢😢😢

Rindu waktu itu ya Tuhan.

ALLAH.. ampuni dosa lalu.
Mampukan daku untuk suka segala yang Engkau suka..
Mampukan daku untuk utamakan MU, Ya ALLAH dalam segala perkara..

Kerna duri sebatang, habis seisi genggaman terburai

Genggam erat penuh kasih selama manapun, 

andai ditaqdir ditusuk duri, 

pasti akan terlerai genggaman, 

bertaburan apa yang digenggam selama ini.

Tapi jika genggaman dibuka sedikit demi sedikit, 

duri dibuang perlahan-lahan, 

luka diubat cepat.. 

maka isi dalam genggaman pasti masih ada. 

Lukanya pula pasti lekas sembuh.

Lantas begitulah juga kehidupan ini. 

Jika kesalahan dimaafkan, 

manusia tidak terus dibuang dan dihukum dengan hanya satu kesalahan, 

tiada putus harapan dgn rahmat dari-NYA hanya kerana satu ujian, 

maka apa yang dibina dgn kasih selama dalam genggaman pasti masih ada gunanya.

Namun kadang kita terlalu pantas menilai kesalahan dan menghukum..

Terlalu mudah berputus harap hanya kerana satu ujian.

Sakit dan luka itu pasti.
Tapi tindakan yang lebih pasti ialah utk tidak terlalu pantas membuka genggaman, 

melerai pegangan hanya kerana satu duri. 

Terus..luka diubati dan fokus diberi untuk terus menggenggam erat, 

menjaga nikmat dan mendoakan rahmat.

Hidup lebih positif jika fokus adalah pada usaha yg telah kita bina dan nikmat yg kita peroleh; 

bukan pada sebatang duri dan sakitnya satu luka..

#notauntukdiri #refleksi sebagai seorang hamba, anak, guru, sahabat dan manusia.

Lalai dan ujub
Itu yang aku takut.
Sebab ia hadir tanpa kita rasa.
Dan paling scary...sebab kita rasa ia tiada tapi ada.

Allah,
Peliharalah hati-hati kami.

Bless

He envies her to the fact that she could meet her parents every weekend..
Little that he knows, she envies him for getting to meet his own little family every time he returns home, everyday..

       **********

Each and every one of us has their own rezq though at times, all we see is that the grass is always greener from the other side of the fence. We might have rezq that other people do not have and vice versa. Same goes with difficulties or adversities. Who r we to say that other people are more  blessed than us or have less responsibilities/ difficulties/adversities than us?

Lets be thankful.
Be grateful for everything that we have.
Work hard, pray earnestly and give more as to achieve what we think we should have OR want to have OR need to have.
Stop labelling each other as "having less responsibilities" OR "more blessed" OR "having no problems" etc. What we see from the surface (their smiles, laughters, happiness, etc) might not really show the struggles inside their heart and mind.

Sometimes we couldn't have everything. But all the things that we have..are more than enough for us.

And stms, we could have everything. But it is just not there yet for us. It also depends on how do we define 'everything'.

Be grateful for everything that we have. For when we lose even one slight nikmat from the many of them that HE has bestowed upon us, only then we would realize that we have everything that HE wants us to have; and they are sufficient for us.

Im not reminding this to anyone except my own self.
Sometimes i compared myself with other people in a negative way. And of course, it should not happen like that. If comparison is made, it should be as a motivation to achieve and do better, positively.
This is indeed a reminder to myself. Yes, i remind myself by writing my thoughts; one of the ways, of course.

P/s: happy malaysia day. #160915wednesday.
It is now 3.59pm..same time on 160914 tuesday; i was in festival city, hunting for my graduation shoes, after leaving sime darby convention centre with a happy and content feeling. Little that i know... 😔😢

Kehilangan
Itu yang menyedihkan.
Tak kisahlah hilang apa.
Barang mahupun cinta.
Cinta siapa? Itu kau jawab sendiri.
Paling parah jika hilang cinta agung.
Itu kau bakal hilang segalanya.

Ps: ah..menangis pula.
Hati tak sado.
Dah bilang acapkali supaya kental.
Tapi rupanya seperti span.
Serap semua.
...dan bila ditekan, menitis laju.