I got a friend whom always know how to start, what to say and could always put up with me; no matter what i say or how mad i could be.
And a good counsellor too.
Someone whom i could say, "hmm i feel sad.. Can u please say or share sth comforting.."
Then puff! All sorts of comforting ayat, words, jokes and motivations were there in less than a minute.
If she was a guy, I couldve fallen for him.

This one kakak.
She is pretty..a well-experienced teacher and a happy-go-lucky kinda person..senyum sokmo.
And cantik.
Yeah..i said pretty twice coz she is.

She is also quite known for her busy life (earning more and more money is one of the things she likes to do; as she said so).

So we asked her about her part-time job at this one private institution. She said she had quit.
And we asked why coz as i said, she loves the money.

"U know what, ...when i was younger, i love to chase money.. i want to earn more and more money. But after quite stms, it becomes tiring. And once uve experienced the death of a fam member, u will realize that u need to spend more time with ur family. I worked at xxxx every friday and returned home at night. The next day, i was too tired already. And my family demanded my time during weekend. So i quitted."

It makes me think.
What do i really want in life?
In my 20s..in my 30s and in my 40s....so on...(if Allah permits me to have a longer life)..
More money?
Higher academic qualification?
More kids? (if im blessed with a marriage and children)
Bigger house and luxurious car?

I want a blessed life.
Blessed with the love of Allah.

Soberness

Losing things that are near to your heart is indeed, devastating.
It leaves a deep mark,
a mark that only you and HE knows.

The heart is still beating,
Tears are still rolling,
Mind is still wondering.

True.
The heart should only be filled with the remembrance of the Most Gracious,
as only HIS love lasts forever.

p/s: months and 'soberness'.

Jendela salju

Jendela.
Betapa mahu kau ke sana.
Ke arah mana mata kau capai.
Tapi sayang.
Tertutup rapat, terkunci rapi.
Tiada mampu walau satu hembusan, walau satu bingkisan untuk masuk.
Hanya mampu intip dalam kelam,
...di celahan pemisah luar dan dalam.

🗻💐☕🌁 #010415 #wednesday #gststartstoday #ofapril14

IF you have known all my flaws and weaknesses,
..seen me in my worst, emotional conditions and situations,
Would u still like me?

bro-sis code

Salam.

i read an article on how Beckham's first child, Brooklyn cuddled and carried his 3 y/o sister home LOVINGLY, after the NYFW. and towards the end of the article, the reporter asked Beckham on how Harper's romantic relationship would be with you know, 3 protective elder brothers, so here he answered: 

"She's got three brothers that will take her, 

three brothers that will eat with her,

and three brothers that will bring her back home,

and a dad waiting for her," 

'So yeah, we'll see. That'll be interesting."

and i could more or less understand this.

the part on having 3 protective elder brothers (i have 4 bros), and... being the only daughter.

Like seriously, elder brothers are more protective towards their sister. 

doesnt matter whether the sister is pretty or not (tak 'ku putih ku putih' pun abang2 sayang..syukur..huhu), big or small...i guess it is in their genes.  

i am already an adult.. BUT.. my brothers' protectiveness level does not even decrease a bit. 

They know most of my circle of friends, BFFs and my whereabouts. 

They are my 'chauffeurs' esp in KL and my chaperons whenever they are at home or whenever i am in KL.
At times, they would escort/ drive me to SP at dawn (at 5.45 am), though they have just arrived from KL the night before; simply coz they are concerned that i would be driving alone/sleepy early at dawn.
and other times, we would keluar makan, movie, shopping blabla.
padahal buat sorang2 pun boleh. but when bros are there, we would do that together.

my first bro, he is the most protective.. and strict.
tambah2 when he's married and has a child. lagiiii lah protective and kebapaan.
he is the one who always asked and called me just to say 'hi' or ask bout my days etc.
there was this one time, i was sick and he took care of me. He came to my college late at night just to pass me Vicks and some meds coz i was coughing badly. Many times, he took me to the clinics and made sure i was ok (with the bless of ALLAH, of course).
he has that 'eldest child' charisma and a decision maker.

my second bro, ...i like the way he gives advices/ opinions. it is always lengthy and of course, useful. whenever im in need of opinions or suggestions, he is always there to help (until everything is solved!). For me, he is a sensible person. He also layan my narcissism by taking my photos..hehe.

and my third bro, he is a 'people' person.
He knows and has met most of my BFFs.
he is the most manja and the one i could mengada lebih.
I always ask him and his wife to go out etc.
He holds my hand- walaupun aku dh besar (and his wife's hand of course), when we crossed the road/ at crowded places.
He makes sure i eat early as to avoid tummy upset.
He holds my heavy handbag when i need to choose / shop for sth.
he still lies his head on my lap, stms asks me to picit kepala, kaki and lepak in my room (bilik aku sejuk) though he's married.
oh...at times, he bullies me too. u know, requesting this n that (mostly food).

and of course my lil bro.
hmm..ahaha. he is of course younger than me. and im closer to him actually.
i talk and share with him though he doesnt really give elaborate responses. lol.
he is a really good listener and a trustworthy secret keeper.
i love hugging him.. at random times.
i hold his arms when walking at malls, etc for no reason. ahahaha.
love teasing him esp when he sleeps and sits alone thinking of things, or even when he eats.
I drink his water just a sec after he finishes pouring it into the glass,..simply because!.
i dont know,... i just love to annoy him! :D

he is a man with less words but at times could be full of surprises too.

Like this one time, when we were in Jogja, he told me not to disperse from my friends (coz i prefer to shop alone). he reminded me few times on that. and then he kept on walking behind me at a crowded place to make sure i was safe. and there was one time, i joked about wanting this particular bag..and he bought me that bag! it was not that expensive or branded but it's the thought that impressed me the most!

but yeah,....
it is not always rainbows with bros.
we fought and bickered too.
we have some 'terasa hati' moments too.
they were times when i cried coz well obviously... i hati lembik cam kanji..huhu.
BUT, like other siblings,
we got over that..
i also appreciate all their countless sacrifices and concerns on me..
and for all the good and bad, i would NOT trade bros for anything. :)

Tolong ingatkan aku

Orang yang mudah lalai seperti aku..
Memang perlu kepada peringatan berulang kali tanpa jemu..
Peringatan dan nasihat berhikmah, agar aku mampu berubah,
dalam istiqamah.

In sya Allah.