IF you have known all my flaws and weaknesses,
..seen me in my worst, emotional conditions and situations,
Would u still like me?

bro-sis code

Salam.

i read an article on how Beckham's first child, Brooklyn cuddled and carried his 3 y/o sister home LOVINGLY, after the NYFW. and towards the end of the article, the reporter asked Beckham on how Harper's romantic relationship would be with you know, 3 protective elder brothers, so here he answered: 

"She's got three brothers that will take her, 

three brothers that will eat with her,

and three brothers that will bring her back home,

and a dad waiting for her," 

'So yeah, we'll see. That'll be interesting."

and i could more or less understand this.

the part on having 3 protective elder brothers (i have 4 bros), and... being the only daughter.

Like seriously, elder brothers are more protective towards their sister. 

doesnt matter whether the sister is pretty or not (tak 'ku putih ku putih' pun abang2 sayang..syukur..huhu), big or small...i guess it is in their genes.  

i am already an adult.. BUT.. my brothers' protectiveness level does not even decrease a bit. 

They know most of my circle of friends, BFFs and my whereabouts. 

They are my 'chauffeurs' esp in KL and my chaperons whenever they are at home or whenever i am in KL.
At times, they would escort/ drive me to SP at dawn (at 5.45 am), though they have just arrived from KL the night before; simply coz they are concerned that i would be driving alone/sleepy early at dawn.
and other times, we would keluar makan, movie, shopping blabla.
padahal buat sorang2 pun boleh. but when bros are there, we would do that together.

my first bro, he is the most protective.. and strict.
tambah2 when he's married and has a child. lagiiii lah protective and kebapaan.
he is the one who always asked and called me just to say 'hi' or ask bout my days etc.
there was this one time, i was sick and he took care of me. He came to my college late at night just to pass me Vicks and some meds coz i was coughing badly. Many times, he took me to the clinics and made sure i was ok (with the bless of ALLAH, of course).
he has that 'eldest child' charisma and a decision maker.

my second bro, ...i like the way he gives advices/ opinions. it is always lengthy and of course, useful. whenever im in need of opinions or suggestions, he is always there to help (until everything is solved!). For me, he is a sensible person. He also layan my narcissism by taking my photos..hehe.

and my third bro, he is a 'people' person.
He knows and has met most of my BFFs.
he is the most manja and the one i could mengada lebih.
I always ask him and his wife to go out etc.
He holds my hand- walaupun aku dh besar (and his wife's hand of course), when we crossed the road/ at crowded places.
He makes sure i eat early as to avoid tummy upset.
He holds my heavy handbag when i need to choose / shop for sth.
he still lies his head on my lap, stms asks me to picit kepala, kaki and lepak in my room (bilik aku sejuk) though he's married.
oh...at times, he bullies me too. u know, requesting this n that (mostly food).

and of course my lil bro.
hmm..ahaha. he is of course younger than me. and im closer to him actually.
i talk and share with him though he doesnt really give elaborate responses. lol.
he is a really good listener and a trustworthy secret keeper.
i love hugging him.. at random times.
i hold his arms when walking at malls, etc for no reason. ahahaha.
love teasing him esp when he sleeps and sits alone thinking of things, or even when he eats.
I drink his water just a sec after he finishes pouring it into the glass,..simply because!.
i dont know,... i just love to annoy him! :D

he is a man with less words but at times could be full of surprises too.

Like this one time, when we were in Jogja, he told me not to disperse from my friends (coz i prefer to shop alone). he reminded me few times on that. and then he kept on walking behind me at a crowded place to make sure i was safe. and there was one time, i joked about wanting this particular bag..and he bought me that bag! it was not that expensive or branded but it's the thought that impressed me the most!

but yeah,....
it is not always rainbows with bros.
we fought and bickered too.
we have some 'terasa hati' moments too.
they were times when i cried coz well obviously... i hati lembik cam kanji..huhu.
BUT, like other siblings,
we got over that..
i also appreciate all their countless sacrifices and concerns on me..
and for all the good and bad, i would NOT trade bros for anything. :)

Tolong ingatkan aku

Orang yang mudah lalai seperti aku..
Memang perlu kepada peringatan berulang kali tanpa jemu..
Peringatan dan nasihat berhikmah, agar aku mampu berubah,
dalam istiqamah.

In sya Allah.

Bolehkah kau hadapi

Salam

Kau tak tahu betapa jantung berdegup laju,
Fikiran melayang selalu,
Bila fikir perkara yang aku sendiri tak tahu,
...sama ada aku mampu.

Semahunya diri mahu jadi yang terbaik.
Tapi diri lebih kenali hati.
Banyak hitam dari putih suci.
Lalu mengundang pelbagai persoalan dalam diri.

Sudah ready,
untuk hadapi semua nanti?

Cinta ke syurga

Kalau cinta,
Sama-sama banyakkan doa.

Kalau benar cinta,
Sama-sama bawa ke syurga.

Barulah sama-sama elak derita,
Sama-sama kecap bahagia.

Ps: peringatan untuk diri.

Salam.

Bila sayang, kau akan husnudzon secara automatiknya. Default setting barangkali.

baiki diri

Salam.

Bila dapat kegembiraan, kita bersyukur.
tapi jarang kita bertanya "kenapa aku?".
Maka bila ditimpa kesukaran,
bersyukurlah kerana kita terpilih untuk ditarbiyah,
dan jangan persoal "kenapa aku?".
Status kita sebagai hamba NYA, buatkan kita lebih dari layak untuk diuji.
Dan untungnya kita, hamba hina tapi Tuhan sayang...
Bila diuji NYA,
DIA janjikan kita hanya diuji dengan ujian yang kita mampu hadapi.
DIA janjikan disetiap kesukaran ada jalan keluar,
DIA janjikan sesuatu yang lebih baik,
Kadang kita mungkin tak faham dan tak punya kebijaksanaan untuk melihat hikmah.
Tapi semestinya ujian dari DIA membuatkan kita lebih berfikir,
lebih bermuhasabah,
lebih banyak tangis, rayu dan berharap pada DIA.

ALLAH, daku sayang pada MU.
Ampuni daku, ampuni dia, ampuni kami semua.

p/s: Mohon masa diputarkan adalah mustahil. 
Yang termampu ialah untuk mengubah diri sendiri. 
Baiki diri dan bersihkan hati.